As I sat my first silent retreat at Insight Meditation Center in Barre, Massachusetts in January 2020, I realized that I am profoundly grateful to many people and experiences on my journey along this contemplative path, so I decided to make a list.
The deepest bow of gratitude to the following:
- I am grateful for my parents, Wayne and Karen Ferrill. They gave me life, nurtured my development, and never once made me wonder if I am loved. I have realized that I am an interesting mix of them– part scientist and healer (from my pharmacist dad) and part teacher (from my elementary school teacher mom).
- I am grateful for my husband, Mark, who loves (verb) me as well as loves (emotion) me. He supports my course work, drove us to Cambridge and supported my time at residency, and didn’t blink when I got back from IMS and said “Oh, I’m going to do that at least once a year for the foreseeable future.” No flight is too early or too late for him to drop me off or pick me up, and he often supports me by traveling with me. He has no doubt that I have heard my calling and am following it. I am profoundly grateful he is my partner.
- I am grateful for my (step)son, Pat. The best job I’ve ever had is being this guy’s stepmom. It’s an interesting role, and I’m fortunate to have had the privilege to hold it since 2005.
- I am grateful for my dad’s pancreatic cancer. Although it was the most unpleasant teacher I have ever had, nothing in my life has ever shown me what is important as clearly as that diagnosis did in late 2016. The feelings that arose from Dad’s diagnosis and the journey that we were on for about 14 months while he lived with it sparked this journey.
- I am grateful for the staff and volunteers of the Indiana Judges and Lawyers Assistance Program. Thank you for supporting me as a law student and practicing lawyer. Thank you for embracing and encouraging my study of mindfulness practices and agreeing to supervise my internship during the Summer 2020 semester.
- I am grateful for the Mindfulness Studies Program at Lesley University. Specifically,
- Nancy Waring for conceiving of this program and convincing whoever she had to convince that it’s a good idea, for being my first teacher, and for her gentle and wise counsel on many topics, especially preparing for my first silent retreat;
- Lisa Lombardi for keeping us all organized, updated, and on the right track;
- Melissa Jean for teaching me to learn to love writing again and for her wise advice and counsel as my advisor;
- Melinda Franceschini for helping me begin to learn what it means to be embodied, for sharing her vast knowledge of Dragon and Tiger Qi Gong, and for facilitating the close community we developed in her Summer 2019 class;
- Chip Hartranft for encouraging me to love learning the correct pronunciation of words in Pali, although I was grumpy about it the whole time;
- Alice Armstrong for teaching me, an amateur neuroscientist, how to read and understand studies, although I was completely overwhelmed the whole time;
- Andrew Olendzki for leading our program through a period of change and growth;
- Everyone in the Summer 2019 Residency for sharing that sacred space with me; and
- Every classmate I’ve had in the program for sharing your insights, humor, and wisdom with me.
- I am grateful to the Mary Prentiss Inn for the care, concern, and hospitality everyone there showed Mark and me during our stay for the Summer 2019 Residency. To spend a week focused on learning (me) and exploring (Mark) while somebody else attended to our daily needs was lovely.
- I am grateful to the staff and teachers at the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, Massachusetts, and especially to my teachers, Chris Cullen, Jaya Rudgard, and Yuka Nakamura, and my fellow retreatants at the Foundations of Mindfulness-Based Approaches retreat (January 9-16, 2020). I could not have asked for a better group of human beings to surround me during my first silent retreat.
- I am grateful for my colleagues at the Indiana Department of Administration for supporting me as I have worked on my degree. I appreciate you listening to me when I share what I am learning, and I especially appreciate you covering my duties while I am away for residency, retreat, or a labyrinth-related training.
- I am grateful to Kay Mutert, Karen Kelley, and my fellow labyrinth facilitator training classmates who attended the session in November 2019 in Houston, Texas. Thank you for sharing that sacred time and part of your journey with me.
- I am grateful to Catherine Anderson and my fellow qualifying workshop participants who attended the January 2020 training in Charlotte, North Carolina. I am also grateful to the crews of the two American Airlines flights who got me to and from Charlotte in one day as well as my Uber drivers, Gennaro and Linson, who got me safely to and from the training. That was a whirlwind day!
- I am grateful to Heather Plett, the teaching team, and the participants of the Session 5 Holding Space Practitioner Program. Thank you for sharing this part of the journey with me. I am especially grateful for my Course Buddy, Karen Kelley, who in a moment of synchronicity, appeared on my screen during our weekly Zoom call the week after I first met her in Houston. I am grateful for her patience as I practice holding space for her and appreciate her skill in holding space for me.
- I am grateful to Blythe and Ashley at Bargersville Wellness for the opportunity to begin teaching mindfulness practices locally.
- I am grateful to John, Leigh Ann, and Rebecca for being my first three students. I learn so much from you and hope that these practices bring you ease.